Meet Kathryn, Jason and Penelope
There is something quite therapeutic about reading other people’s fertility journeys, and even more therapeutic writing out your own. Early 2018, after 8 years together we had just bought our first home, we’d been married 2 years and were just enjoying life together as husband and wife. Overnight we went from being very casual about starting our family, to wanting to have a baby straight away when we found out my Mum was diagnosed with Leukaemia. This mindset change was staggering, a full one-eighty, and it went from ‘trying’ for a baby to ‘needing’ a baby very quickly. You spend so long trying not to get pregnant, and that switch to desperately wanting to become a Mummy, and make your Mum a Nana, was excruciating.
After a year of trying, and stressing, and overthinking, we were over the moon to get a positive pregnancy test in March 2019. Unfortunately, after some pain and bleeding, and nothing showing up on scans, we discovered this was an ectopic pregnancy. We were mid-HCG-level-testing and it ruptured. I was blue-lighted to hospital and it was a very scary time for all. We lost our baby, I lost my left fallopian tube and my husband nearly lost his wife. I was very lucky to have survived, but it never quite sunk in how near fatal it was (maybe it never will). All I could think about was that we had lost a little baby, it took a while to start recovering physically and mentally.
After months of healing, binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy and coming to terms with what had happened, we got back to trying, knowing we had 50% less of a chance of conception. We were elated, and in shock, with our second positive test in February 2020 – but to find out this one was another ectopic pregnancy was heart-breaking. On 19th February 2020, our 4th wedding anniversary, I was hospitalised and had my other fallopian tube removed, knowing full well IVF was now our only option to conceive our baby.
We got an immediate IVF referral, Covid struck and everything shut down including all fertility treatment. In July 2020, we visited The Hewitt Centre at the Liverpool Women’s Hospital for an initial consultation and testing. The clinic was lovely, staff were so friendly and professional, and between the nerves I felt hope.
In August 2020 we decided to pay privately for our IVF, due to lots of different factors including my high BMI, hospital choice and wait list times. We knew it wasn’t that either of us were infertile, I just didn’t have the mechanics any longer to make it happen. After an incredible amount of research (because a worldwide pandemic allows you time to do that) we chose to start our private treatment with The Hewitt Centre.
Even though it was slightly further away from home, we began our journey at the Knutsford clinic. We chose here because it felt quieter and more private, and to start off, it distanced me from the maternity hospital; we knew that later in the process our procedures would be carried out in the Liverpool Women’s. Everything happened so quickly – not rushed, just efficient. We started long protocol IVF in October 2020 and we made the long drive for each appointment, scan and drug-teach to Knutsford; absolutely worth it as every time it gave us an excuse to try a different place for lunch on the way home. We had our theatre egg collection booked in at the Liverpool Women’s Hospital and out of 8 eggs we got 5 embryos which we were so happy with. Our little embryo (which we nicknamed "Steg" after my favourite dinosaur, a stegosaurus) was transferred on 9th November 2020.
The ‘Two Week Wait’ is as agonising as it sounds and doing ours during the pre-Christmas lockdown meant I was lucky I didn’t have to see anyone and there was more Grey’s Anatomy to binge. Only my immediate family knew about our IVF and I felt I had to keep it that way; I was so worried it wouldn’t work and I had every hope pinned on it. Alas, two weeks later we had a positive test. Excitement, relief, fear, anxiety – just an overwhelming amount of emotions. After a bit of pain at 5 weeks, I called the Hewitt Centre at Knutsford who booked me in for an immediate emergency scan over in Liverpool as they were concerned about my previous ectopics. Here is where we saw that for the first time ever, Steg was in the ‘right place’ and after our 7 weeks scan, it was relief to know this pregnancy was viable.
Now, I just had to STAY pregnant. In all honesty, I turned into a crazy anxious mess worrying about everything. Between feeling like I was in the 1% club of bad things happening to me, and initially having barely any movement due to an anterior placenta, we didn’t tell friends and extended family until we were about 24 weeks. After then, it was all uphill – I can't complain as I had a fabulous pregnancy, obviously the fatigue and baby brain is real – but no illnesses, I loved my bump and in the final weeks I soaked up the sunshine in the 2021 heatwave.
We never found out if Steg was going to be a girl or a boy. So, we were delighted when our beautiful baby girl, Penelope Elizabeth-Ray was born on 23rd July 2021. She has smashed every milestone, been the most wholesome baby, inquisitive toddler and she’s now a thriving 3-year-old. Penelope is incredibly intelligent, caring and wise beyond her years; she is loved by so many and is definitely going to keep us on her toes as she grows. It’s so amazing seeing those little traits of myself and her Daddy in her. I know we’re bias, but she’s perfect.
Every member of staff we met at both locations of the Hewitt Centre – from door-greeters and receptionists, chaperones and embryologists, to nurses and consultants, were so kind and understanding. They kept things light-hearted when they needed to be, which helped with any nerves, and they were so professional when it came to the important stuff. I never had a problem calling the nurses, or they’d call me back for me to ask the most random questions and it was never a bother to them. I know that the whole team do this every day as their job, but they really do make you feel like you are the most important patient that day.
Starting an IVF journey is daunting, I’ve never been good with the ‘unexpected’ but knowing you’re going through it with professionals around you is reassuring. For me, I kept an IVF journal and it was the best thing for me to empty my thoughts out into every day. You can be consumed by the worry, about the what-ifs, trying to stay positive can be difficult, but navigating emotions and writing down things I was grateful for was beneficial – and since, it’s actually been very therapeutic and enlightening to read it back. I also did IVF acupuncture through the recommendations at the Hewitt Centre and separately listened to an IVF mindfulness app. I would never be able to say if this is what helped in our success, but it definitely gave me focus and some time for me to relax during such a turbulent time.
The Hewitt Centre were amazing on the journey to have our daughter, and still have been. We’ve since tried for a sibling and had a frozen transfer at The Hewitt Centre in September 2023 which unfortunately was unsuccessful. Again, I couldn’t have faulted the care and attention we received from all the staff. After this, I had a few post-failed-transfer therapy sessions with the counselling team at the Hewitt Centre at the Liverpool Women’s, who not surprisingly were just absolutely wonderful. I was able to talk, share my thoughts and move forward – it really helped with understanding my mix of emotions at that time.
I know just how lucky we are to have had our first embryo from our first round and transfer be successful – here we are again in that 1% club; it’s a positive though this time! I also know I will never want another baby in the way that I wanted Penelope, and that is okay. We’re not sure now if we want to try again for another. We could be very happy just the 3 of us. Our other 3 embryos are still happily living in the freezer, because you just never know.
To all the of the Hewitt Team, at Knutsford and Liverpool. You are invaluable. Thank you so very much from the bottom of our hearts.